I said “Like what?” She giggled some more and laughingly said “corn on the cob” and began to laugh looking away from me. She then told me that she would soon be going on Rumspringa. I wasn't 100% sure what it was, but I knew some Amish guys who hung out at the market that we had drank with the year previously. They were not dressed as Amish, just in “English” clothing and they were smoking. I knew that Rumspringa was a time for older Amish teens to “try out” the outside world before they decide whether they will follow the Amish way of life or leave and never return to their Amish roots.I asked Rachel what her thoughts were, and she gave me her address and asked me if I would come to her house and take her to a barn party the first night of Rumspringa. Asked when that was and she said it started the coming Saturday. I said “I would love to”. She said that Sarah, my buddy's friend would also be going out the same day and that I should bring my friend along also.Saturday came and the. "She again started crying and if a hole opened under me andswallowed me I would not protest."Come home... Please.."She hung up and I sat dejected on the sofa and waited .. andhoped .. and prayed.After about a half hour I heard her car and then the door opened. She looked terrible with blotchy eyes and streaked makeup.I passed her the drink I had prepared, took her coat and guidedher to the sofa.I took a deep breath and started, "I am so sorry to have upsetyou. I have dressed up on occasions since I was 8 years old. I really don't understand why I feel the need but I do andalthough I have tried to stop I don't seem able to and in a waydon't want to. I have never shared this with anyone. I do notwant to be a woman and am not gay or bisexual. I love youtotally and my one wish, although I know I don't deserve it,would be for you to try to understand and to share this side ofmy life with me."I paused to let what I had said sink in."Why didn't you tell me," she asked."Because I thought you.
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